* Walks into shower at 7 a.m. *
Why the fuck can’t I see anything? *opens and closes eyes*
Still can’t see. *does it again* Fuck, I’m wearing my glasses.
I need to make this shower quick. *gets under water* FEELS SO GOOD!!!! Haha, I’m gonna be late for work, there’s no way to make this fast now.
” A little bit of Monica, in my life….” Fucking tumblr.
*shampooing and rinsing* Shit. I don’t think I lathered enough. Fuckkk, I’m running out of shampoo, I need to go buy more.
*shampooing and rinsing again* Did I just lather, rinse, repeat? I don’t think I’ve ever done that before.
” A little bit of Erica, by my side…” *sighs* Seriously, it’s gonna be stuck in my head for three years.
Shit, I have to go drop of my prescription before work. I really want to go to starbucks and get the gingerbread thing, I have that $5 gift card.
Ugh, why isn’t there a starbucks between work and my houseee. I know I’m not gonna go.
*conditioner time* FUCK TOO MUCH!!! *attempts to get it back into bottle, drops it*
*sighs* Well, at least now I have about equal amounts of shampoo and conditioner.
Why did I run out so fast, I have no fucking hair!
“A little bit of Rita is what I need. A little bit of Sandra-” No, I’m forgetting someone.
People need to invent a way to put a waterproof tablet of some kind that’s a tv, computer, and phone all in one that can be imbedded into the shower wall. That way I could go on tumblr right now and look at the Mambo #5 post and know the rest of this song.
*soaping up* Oh my god haha I need to buy another luffa, this poor thing is unraveled.
*placing butt against freezing cold shower wall* AAAAUUUGGHGHHH, WHY!?! People totally take bending for granted.
*trying to scrub bottom of feet* Heh… Hahaha…. Fuck it tickles, I hate this part.
*soaping face and holding breath* I need to buy eyeliner, I’m using stub, this is getting ridiculous.
Okay, so now I need shampoo and conditioner, eyeliner, to go to starbucks, and I forgot to remind myself I need a mani-pedi for maintenance purposes, I always file them down too much and end up with- omg omg omg I need air, shit.
*rinsing face* “UGHHHH FUCKKKKK!!!!!!” SOAP IN MY EYE, FUCKING SHIT, DAMNIT IT BURNS, FFFFFFF UUUUGHHH!
Okay, got through that. Hm….. Do I have time to fap? Nah, I don’t have enough energy to try. I’m hungry anyway.
Oh, that reminds me I need to brush my teeth. If I do it now I’ll have enough time for the taste to go away so I can eat breakfast. Ugh, but it’s so cold out there. Okay GO!
*hops out of shower to get toothbrush and toothpaste* “AHHHHH COLD!”
*brushing teeth* WHY do I ALWAYS want orange juice as soon as I start brushing my teeth?! Worst flavor combination out there.
*thinking of her* Ugh, I miss her so much. Come back for break, please. This sucks. I can’t wait to text her, but I don’t want to wake her up. Ugh, I’m so pathetic sometimes.
*getting out of the shower* I wonder if I should put on the news? The election is coming up and I barely know what’s going on. I want to vote now that I’m old enough. But I’ll probably get confused when it comes to the laws and bills and policies and propositions and just panic.
If that happens I’ll just stay in there for a while and when I get out I’ll yell ‘yay democracy!’ and leave, like Francine from American Dad.
*turns on TV* Max and Ruby is on?! Well fuck, there goes my timely morning routine.